Inside the World of... Celebrity Moustaches!

Tim's hollywood smile!

Today we meet Tim Henderson, world famous moustache of Hollywood actor Tom Selleck. Tim has been working as the trademark moustache of Tom Selleck for over twenty years. Their successful partnership started in 1990 after Tom parted ways with his previous moustache Albert Stanton following Albert's struggle with alcohol and drug abuse. Despite years of working together by the time Tom and Albert were enjoying success in the 1980's as Magnum P.I. and the moustache of Magnum P.I. respectively, there was a huge rift between the two off screen due to Albert's instability and violent outbursts. Famously Tom Selleck had to use an understudy moustache for some scenes in 3 men and a baby and the final series of Magnum P.I. But since Tom Selleck has teamed up with Tim Henderson the duo have gone from strength to strength playing a number of roles on the big screen, such as the smash hit blockbuster 3 Men and a little lady, and on the smaller screen aswell. It was while playing the role of Richard's moustache on the hugely popular comedy series Friends that Tim first met his wife Amanda, who was a producer on the show. 

Now entering their 22nd year of working together Tom Selleck and Tim Henderson are currently starring together in the second series of Blue Bloods, where Tim plays the moustache of New York Police Commissioner Frank Reagan. Tim describes the cast as one big happy family. "We have a lot of laughs between takes" chuckles Tim. "Tom will say to me.. Ready Tim? Give me your best performance. And I'll say... Okay Tom. Hair I go! Oh yes that really tickles Tom it gets him every time!" Tim currently lives in Malibu, California with his wife Amanda and their cat Monty. When he is not filming for his role of the moustache of Frank Reagan Tim enjoys keeping trim at the gym, playing golf with friends and wine tasting. 

Louis Theroux... America's Most Dangerous Pets

Oh how I love Louis Theroux! His bespectacled faux naivety never failing to draw those he encounters to spill more than they meant to and certainly more than they would to a Paxman haranguing. His softly softly catchee monkey approach really came into play in the recent documentary "Louis Theroux - America's Most Dangerous Pets." Though there was the unsettling fear throughout the show that the monkey, bear, tiger, lion or chimpanzee may in fact catchee Louis. Especially when Cooper the chimp smashed through the window of the house in which Louis and crew were cowering from his animal antics! But why would our stateside friends, who are known for their quiet, sensible approach to life keep animals better suited to roaming the wild in their own back yard!? There was women with child substitute monkeys that they showered with cuddles and kisses and dressed in children's clothing and jewellery. (What sort of establishment would pierce a monkey's ears!?) and then there were men with a power substitute parade of tigers or lions on leashes. Then there was Joe Exotic, an odd character somewhat summed up by his juxtaposition of a name, if you were going to the trouble of changing your surname to Exotic would you not be tempted to spice up your forename too!? Joe owns and runs a wildlife park consisting of 1400 animals, mainly lions and tigers or a combination of the two. Joe's forte is in fact the interbreeding of lions and tigers making ligers and tiligers and his latest project combining a liger and tiliger to create... wait for it... a saber tooth tiger!? I am not questioning Joe he is after all the expert! Joe's claims that if his wildlife park goes bankrupt he will euthanize all 1400 animals only added to an image of a crazy, mixed up, cross between Hitler and Noah, wiping out the animals two by two. So there you have it Louis gave us a glimpse of the plight of wild animals kept by a range of selfish or deluded odd balls. What's next for Louis? Louis Theroux.. America's most hated octopus or perhaps Louis Theroux... America's most dangerous musuem. Who knows! But I will be tuning in that is for sure!

Brian Pippin Investigates...

...The Case of the Wheelie Bin Fiend!

Shhh everyone Brian is on a stake out!

You may not believe this but  Brian Pippin is in this picture above. You probably won't spot him as he is very cleverly disguised. Brian is on the case of the Wheelie bin fiend who has "bin refuse(ing)" to stop putting their rubbish in somebody else's wheelie bin! What sort of a depraved monster are we dealing with I hear you gasp! Well never fear Brian Pippin P.I. is here! With his previous solve rate of 100%, his logical mind and ability to solve puzzles quickly and of course the fact that Brian Pippin P.I. is... the Master of Disguise! Brian Pippin will have the case of the Wheelie Bin Fiend cracked wide open in no time... 

Watch this space!

Walhberg Guess Who...

To celebrate the start of the second series of Blue Bloods, which features Donny Wahlberg as Danny a maverick NYPD detective, Guess Who have brought out a special edition of their popular board game based on the Wahlberg family. Wahlberg Guess Who features Wahlbergs such as..

Wahlberg number 12 in series Donald Wahlberg...

Currently estranged from his famous nephews Mark and Donny. Donald lives and works in Boston as a DHL delivery man. He shuns the more traditional DHL delivery van in favour of running from delivery to delivery across the city on a daily basis and has to date delivered more parcels than any other DHL delivery man on record. Donald Wahlberg is always available for emergency deliveries. Donald lives with his pet dog Alfred and enjoys making scale models of famous bridges from lolly sticks in his spare time. 

Wahlberg number 23 in series Malcolm Wahlberg...

Currently estranged from his famous Wahlberg brothers Mark and Donny, Malcolm lives and works in Boston as a Food safety inspector. Malcolm prefers to travel around the city by running from inspection to inspection and carries out more inspections than any other food safety inspector on record. He is always on call for emergency food safety inspections. Malcolm lives alone and enjoys contemplating real life mysteries in his spare time.

Wahlberg Guess Who available from all good retailers now at just £9.99!

Tales From The Biscuit Tin... (No. 1 in series)

A cautionary tale from the biscuit tin today... On April 1st 2011  I selected a digestive biscuit from the tin. "A dull 
biscuit" I thought "No danger of the moreish-ness attached to the bourbon or the hobnob. Yes I am safe with a digestive" A few seconds later I had a crumb in my eye, as you can imagine a very painful experience indeed! Who could have predicted the dangers of the digestive? What is their plan exactly?! To impair my vision so I can't find the biscuit tin... That won't stop me. Nothing will stop me eating biscuits till there's no biscuits left!! Heed my warning....

Beware of the Digestive!!!

Brian Pippin Investigates...

Brian Pippin

Let me introduce you to Brian Pippin. Brian is a young man who runs his own business - Brian Pippin Private Investigator. Brian has cracked 3 out of 3 cases to date, giving him a solve rate of 100%. Brian puts this down to his logical thinking, ability to solve a puzzle quickly and of course because Brian Pippin Private Investigator is.... The Master of Disguise! Brian is a man of a thousand faces and has the ability to blend into his surroundings like a human chameleon. Have a look at the pictures below and see if you can spot Brian. You probably won't because Brian Pippin P.I. is... The Master of Disguise!

Where's Brian?

Can you spot him?

If you have a case you would like Brian Pippin P.I. (Master of Disguise) to crack please give him a ring on 555 - 01345. No case too tough no mystery too mysterious!

What I would do if I were on X Factor and some Frankie Cocozza related crimping...

Frankie Frankie they make you look manky.
Frankie Frankie your legs they look too lanky..
If those trousers get tighter you'll be in for a shock
They'll squeeze your legs to nothing and you'll end up with no... legs!

Ohhhhh Frankie Frankie they make you look manky
Frankie Frankie your legs they look too lanky!
If those trouser's get tighter it is going to get silly
They'll squeeze your legs to nothing and you'll end up with no.... legs!

I will never be on X Factor. I don't really like singing, but what I do like is shouting at the telly as to what I would do if I were on X Factor.

Here is a list of what I would do if I were on X factor...

1. I would say "No I shan't wear those trousers. I think they may belong to a small child. Sure my legs are skinny, but squeezing them into these clingers will only serve to highlight their narrow appearance and make this already ridiculously large barnet look larger!?" Now it could be there was a mix up backstage and Frankie's trousers somehow got muddled with the big faced girl from Rythmix, hers also seemed rather ill fitting and a bit wacky. Or maybe it was a prank. I don't know if trouser swapping is something the youngsters are into in between tweeting and gobbling chips like crazed seagulls, but there was definitely something afoot in the trouser department that week. I think Kitty is on the right track, point blank refusing to wear any trousers from week to week. She is happier in her pants than having legs like pipe cleaners!

2. I would not allow them to talk about my personality for a longer duration each week than I spend singing throughout the whole contest. Poor Sophie's nice quiet personality has now developed a personality of it's own, which one journalist described as feisty, and leaves me with the fear that the shadowy figures behind X factor (Cowell) are setting that poor girl up for mental health issues in the future. But then again they have given her a lovely fringe so it's swings and roundabouts really. The judges should spend less time talking about her personality and more time choosing her a nice hat to bolster/replace her personality as per Ricky circa 2009.

3. I would not allow them to make me sing Purple Rain. Purple Rain??... again!.. really!? The Purple Rain again falls mainly on the ears of disgruntled X factor viewers! After Misha B's rendition I had to visit my local GP who has diagnosed me to be suffering from PRRPS or to give it it's full title Purple Rain Related Pain Syndrome. I know what you're thinking... OMG PRRPS PMSL! Its no laughing matter I can assure you. "No" I would say if I were on X Factor "It's rock week and I am going to stick to my guns and sing Slide it in by Whitesnake!"

Fontaine's suggestions

Why not try replacing the word "leg" with the word "Frankie." As in "My Frankies are a bit cold this weather." or "Aw man I've just dropped gravy down my Frankies!"

Or...

In a dramatic situation why not try diffusing the tension by replacing cursing with a full blown "Frankie Cocozza." As in "What in the name of Frankie Cocozza are you doing here??" or "What the Frankie Cocozza is Frankie Cocozza wearing on his Frankies this week??"