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| The picture that sparked rumours - Frankie Cocozza snapped leaving Frankie Boyle's home earlier today. After being sensationally booted off the show earlier today in a shock twist this weekend's X Factor live shows will see Frankie Cocozza return to perform as part of newly formed group "The Frankies." which is made up entirely of well known "Frankies" from the world of comedy, sport, music and oddly crime. The line up of the Frankies is revealed today as a world exclusive...
The Frankies will feature X Factor hopeful Frankie Cocozza on vocals; Controversial comedian Frankie Boyle on lead guitar; Successful jockey and restauranter Frankie Detorri on bass guitar, Former member of girl group The Saturdays Frankie Sandford on percussion and finally notorious ex-criminal and gang member Mad Frankie Fraser on drums.
It is claimed that Gary Barlow is supportive of Frankie's decision to team up with other famous Frankies to form a Frankie based supergroup. "I'm delighted that Frankie has found musical soulmates in these other Frankies. I have seem them in rehearsals today and I have been blown away by how good they sound. Mad Frankie Fraser is keeping Frankie in check too and that is what that boy needs the guidance of an ex member of the criminal underworld to keep him focused at this stage in his career."
A source with access behind the scenes at X Factor claims that judge Tulisa is furious at the decision to allow The Frankies to perform on Saturday's show. Tulisa, who mentors the groups, blasted "I think it's a joke that The Frankies have already been lined up for a live performance when Nu Vibe and the Risk have been thrown on the scrapheap like yesterday's moldy toast." It is claimed that on hearing the news Louis exclaimed "I like Frankie Boyle. I do! He looks like a popstar, he sounds like a popstar, he is a popstar!" he then added "I like Frankie Detorri. I do! He looks like a popstar, he sounds like a popstar, he is a popstar!" He then went on to say the same thing about the other 3 members of the newly formed Frankies. Kelly Rowland is said to have remarked "They got it down, they got it down!" before remarking more loudly "They got it down! They got it down!"
It is rumoured that The Frankies will kick off their debut as a group on Saturday by covering the smash hit "Bubbling Hot" by Pato Banton, which advocates equality and harmony between people of different backgrounds and appearance. Frankie Cocozza was heard to say "It sums us up perfect man... The Frankies are bubbling hot!" Tune in on Saturday to see if Frankie can turn his career around with this bold move.
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Tuesday, 8 November 2011
The Frankies...
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Dear Sir / Madam,
ReplyDeleteThis is Frankie Jonas (AKA Bonus Jonas), star of Disney Channels hit series Jonas L.A. and often forgotten brother of Joe, Nick and Kevin. Not that I'm desperate for work or anything but I can forward to you a CV of my career to date for your consideration in the hope that I may be able to join this prestigious sounding group of Frankies, as my own blood and brethren have forsaken me to a life of relative obscurity on the Disney Channel, offering me only cameo's on there music videos.
Ican sweep up, clean up and can even make a pretty good cup of tea, well for an American anyway.
Yours Hopefully,
Frankie Jonas (Bonus Jonas)
Dear Frankie (bonus) Jonas,
ReplyDeleteI will certainly pass your CV onto Frankie Cocozza the main Frankie in The Frankies for his consideration. There is currently a position available for "dancer/maracas" Please refer to "Bez, Happy Mondays" on google or you tube for full job description. If you think this would be a role in which you would be interested I would be happy to send you an application form. Please confirm your availability for The Frankies three confirmed gigs to date: Thursday 10th November, warm up gig at the Pirates Eye bar, Camden; Saturday 12th November, Live performance on X Factor and Tuesday 15th November, turning on ceremony of Leamington Spa Christmas lights. This role would of course mean relocating to the UK for an unspecified length of time so I do urge you to consult your more famous Jonas brothers before foresaking them for new Frankie based brothers and sister. The Frankies look forward to hearing from you!
Dear Miss Fontaine,
ReplyDeleteAlas, after an unfortunate accident invoving a mexican arm-wrestler I'm affraid that my maraca shaking days are over! I spoke to my Doctor and he said that I might be able to manage a tamborine or timbrel like Liam Gallacher but a bean based instrument like a maraca would be out of the question. Would that be of any use to the Frankies?
Frankie Jonas.
Dear Frankie Jonas,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your unfortunate accident. I regret to inform you at present the Gallacher-esque tambourine, pouting and stalking about the stage like a escaped baboon slot is being covered by Frankie Sandford formerly of girl group The Saturdays. However, The Frankies will certainly keep your details on file in the case of any vacancies coming up you would be high up in a list of Frankies to step in. Thank you for your interest in The Frankies and we hope to be in touch with you in the future.
Yours sincerely,
Miss L. Fontaine
P.S. Do you think your famous Jonas brother Nick would be interested in a new, fresh and exciting musical project involving other famous Nicks? I am currently involved in talks with Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys fame and Nick Clegg of the UK coalition government and hope to form The Nicks by early next year.