Monday, 31 March 2014


One of these spoons is an imposter!

I don't know which spoon to trust. One of these spoons is my genuine spoon and one is an imposter spoon who looks like my spoon and I don't know which is which... What a total ruddy nightmare!?

Sunday, 30 March 2014

My clock's changed...

I'm confused... It's like my clock's changed over night!? 

In happier times.. just yesterday!

My clock today.

I'm all at sixes and sevens with my clock changing like this.  I have been second guessing it all day. The trust's gone.

Thursday, 27 March 2014

He said she said - No. 1 in series....

He Said, She Said...

What do newlyweds in the UK talk about I hear you say?! Yes I did hear you say that. You may think that you did not say that or indeed even think it... but you did and I heard you. So here you are - a glimpse into the conversations of a newlywed couple, who I can confirm are based in the UK area...

He said: Is it weird if I take a yoghurt into work in my pocket if I'm not taking my bag?

She said: A bit aye. A bit weird to carry a bag about with nothing in it but a yoghurt though.

He said: I know. Which is less weird?

She said: Hmmm!?

Well there we have it folks! Quite the dillema I think you'll agree... and in a worldwide exclusive I can confirm that he did carry the yoghurt to work in his pocket.


Friday, 15 November 2013

Andy Bands & the Office Junior - No. 2 in Series...

Coming soon....

Join Britain's most belligerent boss Andy Bands as he scours the nation for his new Office Junior! 

Friday, 8 November 2013

Andy Bands & the Office Junior....

Introducing Andy Bands Britain's most successful business tycoon and the newest member of his business empire the office junior Pip. 

Andy Bands and Pip have an extremely busy time in the office coming up with moneyspinning business ideas....

... and making them a reality! 

Keep your peepers open for further glimpses into the business world of Andy Bands and the office junior Pip! 

With thanks to @EMcCrindle for introducing me to Andy Bands and Pip. 

Saturday, 26 October 2013

Ruddy clocks...

Tonight's the night the clocks go back and as a result chaos will reign!!! What is it about this bi-annual time based mix up that puts the nation at sixes and sevens!?  

Twice a year it happens and twice a year the inevitable conversation starts about 3 to 4 days beforehand... "Clocks go forward this weekend.... Forward? No back surely?... Back? Spring forward, fall back, yes they must be going back.... Does that mean u get an extra hour in bed or do you lose an hour?... Well if it's really 8 o'clock it will actually be 7 o'clock soooo... We lose an hour... No we get an extra hour in bed.. Do we?... I dunno." And so on! This back and forth begins to take a turn for the frantic when the deadline is ticking ever closer like the giant clock in countdown counting down to the unveiling of the solution to the countdown conundrum! 

The clocks changing sums up Britain pretty well as nobody ever knows what's going on but our main concern at this perplexing time is always whether we get an extra hour or lose an hour in bed! It is never whether we get an extra hour or lose an hour of industry or whether we get an extra hour or lose an hour to spend with our loved ones. Nope. It's always a terrible fear of a whole hour of beautiful slumber being snatched away from us by a nameless, faceless thing by that we don't really understand, that fuels the relentless questioning of the whole changing clocks system. And when we lose an hour in bed by god! Some blame the government, some blame the farmers, I blame the clocks. Tick tock tick tock... on and on they go like mad time measuring bastards and just when you think you can trust them.... They change! 

By the way the clocks go forward tonight... No back definitely back! 

Thursday, 24 October 2013


I like to draw a face on my daily banana then he's like a wee friend in the office... Until the clock strikes 11 then I eat him! 

                        The horror!